Flat Stanleys...you know, those traveling paperdoll cutouts that you send on trips you can't go on?? Someone else takes it with them on a great vacation, takes pictures and journals where Stanley went and what he saw. When he comes back, you get a glimpse of the places, but it's not like being there and seeing it in all it's glory. All my life has been flat....maybe I'm Flat Gidget!
Not that I'm flat, but what I see is flat. You see, my eyes don't work together. My eye doc records are filled with terms like strabismus, amblyopia, alternating hyper estoropia, and stero-blind. All those fancy terms to say that my left eye floats up and turns in and that my brain mostly suppresses the image that it sends. I can pick which eye I'm looking with, but I mainly see with my stronger right eye. What that means is that my brain doesn't have 2 images that it can fuse to create a 3-dimensional picture. One image gets suppressed - generally, the one from the eye I'm not looking with. I see flat. I can't see the space between object - I know it's there because I've learned to compensate in many ways. I don't need lights on at night in a familiar place because I can feel my way around. I instinctively know how far to walk down the hallway before I get to the door. But I can't "see" the space. I can't tell how much there is. I imagine it's similar to what a "normal" sighted person sees looking a photograph. That's what I see - I have 1 aperture that brings in visual information.
Why does all this matter?? I've survived all these years and adapted pretty well. Why would I want to change that?? Well, flat can be really scary! I'm terrified every time I have to park my car or pull into the garage. Will this be the time I misjudge and scrape the side?? Will I scrape my mirror on the garage....again? 3D movies make me sick to my stomach because I just can't process all that input and make it fuse in my brain. Any sport that involves a fast moving object hurtling through space at me is a disaster! Swing and a miss! Honestly, most times I just duck and cover! I want to see in 3D! Just like everyone else!
So, this blog is my story of trying to make that happen. I'm already almost a year into this and farther than anyone thought I could progress. But, we aren't there yet! One day, I hope I'll be able to look at a tree and see the space between the leaves. Or look up at a skyscraper and marvel at how tall it is. So grab yourself the beverage of your choice and follow my journey through (and of) my eyes.
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